It's been a loooooong day...and it aint over yet!

I've been up since 4:30 AM.I had plans to go to the 7 AM meeting in Willi on the way to drop Carrie off at Stonington Institute. Yes! It was the scenic route. I felt a morning meeting would put me in a good frame of mind for my day's journey. I am pleased to report that I was 100% correct.

I am so tired. It didn't help that I woke up every 45 minutes to an hour last night. I knew I had to be up by 5 AM to be on schedule. I always psych myself out when I have to get up early to be somewhere.

I managed to make it back into town for the noontime meeting at the college. I brought a friend there for the first time. She liked the meeting. She's looking for a local sponsor. The only way to find one of them is to do meetings, meetings and more meetings. Oy vay!

I had to wait for the plumber who showed up at 2 PM...just like he said he would. Of course, being concerned about the running water and waiting for him caused me to totally space out my appointment with my psychiatrist and my therapist today. I got to see my therapist...hurried down there after I got a phone call from United Services. Some days I feel so blonde. Sleep deprivation is not my friend. REALLY!!!!

Rachel has been on my mind lately. We buried her at this time of year. Perhaps that's why she is on my mind. I remember her funeral. I remember watching her 16 month old son playing in the funeral home while mom was the "guest of honor." I don't think I've ever seen anything so obscene as that juxtaposition of "the absolute promise of the hope of childhood" and the utter hopelessness of this disease called addiction. I think of Carrie's daughters' and I cringe.

And tonight I will be going to yet another meeting. It's been that kind of day for me. The Carrie thing is weighing heavy on my mind. I can only do what I can do. I know that. But, this disease is so cunning, baffling and powerful. It's very scary. I've been to too many funerals, seen too many die too young. Whatever will be, will be. It's just that some days the writing on the wall seems more legible than on other days. Prayers, good wishes and positive thoughts would all be appreciated.