Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Bureaucracies and behemoth systems drive me nuts! It's a short commute for me, but still, the insanity comes. I feel like I am banging my head against the flipping wall.

The nice lady at TVCCA wants me in my apartment by February 1st. In theory, that's a great idea. Of course, if she would get back to me with some freaking paperwork to effect that end, it would be so much easier. Hell, I aint even fussy bout da paperwork at this point. I've called so many times THIS WEEK (and is it only Wednesday) that I a can't use one hand to count anymore. Knowing my portion of the rent would be like so ENLIGHTENING. If the landlord and I get no paperwork form them he is going to want the whole amount from me for 1st month. I don't have the extra couple, two, three hundred to play around with.

I am getting very frustrated. Today is not a good day for a ride to Norwich but I may be down there tomorrow. I really don't think my odds of getting an answer today are really very good.

SOOOOOO...PROMPTED BY THE MEANDERINGS OF MY OWN MIND ON MY OWN BLOG,I MADE SOME PHONE CALLS. Houston, I have a dollar figure!!! Whoa! Doing the footwork pays off. I don't have to go to Norwich...YEAH! (nothing 'gainst Norwich, mind you, just a long way to go for nothing but bureaucratic bull-oney!)

Well, my day just got immeasurably better and I feel so much less stressed at the moment. Now I have to coordinate all the help I have for the weekend. I want to get in on Friday and Saturday. Sunday is our annual parish meeting and SUPER BOWL SUNDAY...both facts that limit my number of helpers for Sunday.

I am feeling much more optimistic. Yeehaw! Of course, it still feels like I am moving in on a hope and a prayer...but that's what faith is all about for me. It will work out. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. What a wild ride sometimes!!!

I am going to hop in the shower and see if my day can get even better. I woke up with a slightly swollen face and a headache and with my joints stiff and aching. Oye Vay! A nice warm, steamy shower, some soothing Dove body wash with menthol, add a good bit of almond oil over my ever-dry skin ( towel drying allowed) and I should be golden...and able to move without undue stiffness. Welcome to my morning ritual! LOL I actually enjoy taking the extra time to take care of me. I figure I deserve the special attention.

And who knows, this being one them snow days and all, I may just pop in and add another entry a bit later on. I have been remiss in posting to my blog with all the hustle and bustle of getting my ducks in a row for the apartment. I like to think that things have settled down now. You don't think I am being too optimistic, do you? LMAO

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tips for a better life

Tips for a better life

By Nithya Shanti

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Share this with someone you care about (Click the "Share" link below)

For more on wonderful happiness ideas, please join the group "The Happiest Day of Your Life"

Monday, January 12, 2009

Some days are diamonds...and some aint!

Saturday I had an opportunity to go roller skating. It was the first time in something like 18 years...give or take a few months. I had a blast!!! I forgot how much I enjoyed doing that. I skated for probably a little over an hour and never fell down once! AMAZING! I did have to catch myself quite a few times and I did think I was going ass over teakettle a couple of times but I managed to stay up. I got steadier and steadier as I continued.

The last time I skated, I was a lot heavier and went down with a thud much to the chagrin of those watching me...and my poor knee. I hadn't dared to get on roller skates since...well, until Saturday. I felt like I was getting in touch with a part of me that got left by the wayside. It was a very kewl experience, one I want to have again and again. Roller skating is one of those things written on my heart, one of my loves, one of the enthusiasms of my youth. I'm grateful it is still there.

I ended up getting snowed in at Carrie's grandmother's Saturday night. I had a good time, watched a bit of TV, got to talk to Robyn and Kymmy. It was a peaceful thang. Then I managed to get a ride to church (and back) on Sunday morning and even made it to a meeting on Sunday night. What a great weekend in most respects.

I asked that my name be removed from the roster at the club. It's a money thing. It's a chaos thing. It's a "I feel like a freeloader and shouldn't be there" thing. It was so nice to have that pointed out to me so succinctly in a public venue. Feeling humiliated, out-numbered and vulnerable is not what I do best. I did manage to handle it well in public. It's the internal stuff. I grew up being told that one's worth was their net worth. It was always about the financial standard and by that standard I am "less than" and probably always will be. Funny how something can throw me back into that way of thinking so easily. I'll figure out how to work it through. I'll talk to some people. I'll come out the other side so much better for the experience. But, all that takes time. TIME: THINGS I MUST ENDURE.

I'd give my right arm for a pair of roller skates and rink right now. I want that feeling and not this one. Oh, well.

Friday, January 9, 2009

It's Looking Gooooood!!!

Well, the numbers crunched so the next stage is the inspection of the premises by those thar inspection peoples. I saw nothing they should have issue with so I do believe it will be smooth sailing from here. Time, of course, will prove me right or wrong on that count.

After all, this was the 3rd apartment in the lot. The first didn't work out. The second had a landlady from hell. And, now I am guardedly optimistic. This is the BEST apartment out of the three anyway. I do believe all will be well...regardless.

I am one big itch again...not sure what that is about. The Gold Bond cream is working. Thank goodness!!! That cortisone stuff has always been rather worthless with any kind of rash I've had. My ankles are sore to the touch. I called the doctor about the ankle thing. She said it could wait until my regularly scheduled appointment on the 19th. They are really sensitive though. Putting on creams or lotions is painful, but the dry skin aint so comfy either. Jeepers! Seems it is always something, eh? Well, if I don't make contact then there is no pain. So, I guess if it hurts, maybe I ought not do it. Whoda thunk?

My suspicions were correct. I found out today someone went out last night. That sucks! Not a damn thing I can do about it. I can't work someone else's program. I know that. It does remind me how insidious this disease is. There's no letting down one's guard. I've seen addiction kill...been to the funerals to prove it. Constant vigilance...and attitude. Being complacent is a sure fire way to get picked off.

I keep hearing the line in the Jerry Reed song, "Lord, Mr. Ford" where he talks about being 4 days lost on a clover leaf. I understand that and it's not about traffic. It took me a long time to figure out I was going nowhere fast. Others have to come to that same conclusion on their own. That's just not the type of thing you can tell someone and MAKE them believe it. Of course, that is frustrating and scary and a whole host of other emotional things. Most importantly, it reminds me that I need a map, a way of navigating that wasn't built into my brain...a dozen steps, lots of tools, faith that it will all get better if I stay away from one drink (or one drug) for one day and the immutable belief that I cannot do it alone....I NEED HELP! I know that stuff works when I work it so I will continue to work it cause I am worth it...and because staying is easier than coming back again and again. That merry-go-round was never very merry.

People pay dearly for the lessons the rest of us learn. This is a fatal, progressive disease that CAN be arrested...but there are never any guarantees. However, paying attention isn't a bad way to hedge one's bet.

Some people can have A drink. I'm not one of those people. Whenever anyone asks me if I wanted A drink, I envision a 55 gallon drum with a handle on it and chuckle because that would just be a start. I have the disease of more. For me, the only way to win is not to play.

Have a good night, one and all! I am going to lay my head down and thank my higher power for another day of sobriety. It really is a precious gift.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

God is a funny dude!

Well, the apartment on Cottage Street is not gonna work out. Methinks the landlady is a fruitloop. On Friday she says the first is fine for a move-in date. Then on Sunday she talks to me and tells me that I have to move in on the 18th cause the old tenant is vacating then and she has other people interested if I don't. Monday she talks to my housing people and tells them she will include the electric in the rent and this morning when I talk to her she says that is not doable. Aye vay! What insanity is this that I am signing up for I ask myself?

So I go to Norwich to find out what I can find out. I get there and there is big note that says no walk-ins. The receptionist points this out to me. I point out to her that they do not return phone messages and it takes them weeks to get back to me about things I send via mail (return receipt required...they are a bureaucracy after all). With a February 1 deadline that just isn't very doable.

So, the receptionist tells me that my worker is out to lunch. I resisted the urge to tell her that they were out to lunch all the time whether they were there or not. Of course, the very moment I thought that it occurred to me that I needed a meeting. I made the 12:30 meeting on West Towne Street and got back in time to deal with the matters at hand...much more rationally than I would have originally. Well, all went well.

I found out the numbers don't work on the apartment with the chaotic landlady. I wasn't feeling real bad about that at all. My worker asked me what I was going to do. I told her that I would go about finding another apartment today. She looked at me like I had my tits on backwards. Well, I am pleased to report that that is exactly what I did.

I contacted the landlord of the apartment that I had liked back in July. As long as the numbers crunch, I have it. It is bigger, brighter and more modern than the one I lost today. I am guardedly optimistic at this point. I would have a February 1st occupancy date. That would give me more time and less stress.

I made another meeting tonight. These are stressful times for me after all. Someone at the meeting asked me what I would do if this apartment fell through. I told her I would call a friend's landlord to see what he had available and if that didn't work out I would pursue other avenues. It's not the end of the world for pete's sake. I can feel the stress but it's not anything that I can't deal with. This is definitely turning into a very interesting process however. Gotta love the bumps in the road!!! LMAO Life is certainly a learning curve.

As good ole Doris Day would say, "Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera." Okay, so she'd sing it rather than say it. But you don't wanna hear me sing it. Trust me on this!

Monday, January 5, 2009 step at a time!

Well, in less than 24 hours I got responses to my HELP email from folks. If all works out and I do get the apartment, I shall be all set for furniture and assorted furnishings. It's a blessing to know so many good-hearted folks who want to help me out. I am so grateful for the friends that I have. Now all I have to do is get the rest of it to come together.

Tomorrow if I can borrow a car I will go down to Norwich to talk to the housing folks there. They never answer their phones, nor do they respond to their voice messages. Either way, I need to know how to proceed. I cannot let this deadline slip past me or it will be that much harder to accomplish this goal.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers, please. I need all the help I can get. I am dealing with a bureaucracy here folks. UGH! They can be such unwieldy beasts!!!

I took a nice long bath tonight, with lots of bath oil to unwind from the stress of the day. I know things will work out the way they are supposed to, but I worry and stress a bit more than I should...AND I KNOW IT. I just haven't figured out how to NOT do that yet. I'm working on it.

The bath was wonderful. My skin feels so soft now. I sat for a bit in the water and then turned on the jets for a while to relax away the stress of the day. Five and a half years at Morin Avenue with just a shower stall and I forgot how delightful an escape a quiet bath can be. Ahhhhhhh! I highly recommend it!!! Of course, there is one of those HUGE tubs with the jets here. I will miss that in my new place, but at least there is some kind of bathtub on the premises. LOL

Oh well. I am going to chomp on a couple of Singulair and head off to bed for a good nights rest. Tomorrow is another day. From the looks of it, it will be a busy day to boot!

Friday, January 2, 2009

What a wonderful day!

The day started out a bit 'iffy' and got sooo much better from there. I got a call from the landlord of the apartment I was looking at. She said that there are issues going on in the apartment that she is not at liberty to discuss with me and I would not be able to rent get teh apartment. Hmmm! That's all I'm saying.

Then the NECTD buses weren't running today. I realized this after I got to Price Chopper and was waiting for the bus. I managed to get a in touch with a friend who brought me down to Danielson.

While I was waiting I talked with a landlord about an apartment I had found on Craig's List. I got to see it this afternoon and I am going to take it. It is not as big as the other. It is on the second floor...but someone recently said something about how people living with stairs tend to be healthier. The bedroom is painted a peachy color which I found rather pleasing. The kitchen is a good size (room for my computer there) with a substantially smaller living room than the other place. Well, the living room in the other place was soooo HUGE! I just needed to have this resolved. All in all it is not a bad place. It has a lovely porch which will be very nice come summer.

Now for the furniture part of my dilemma. I have a bed, couch, living room chair, trunk for a coffee table, TV & VCR/DVD combo unit and an airbed. Now for a desk, table set, bureau and entertainment center and all the odds & ends that go with apartment occupancy. I'm sure it will all come together quite nicely. That's just an article of faith. Life is good if I let it be.

And, while shopping at the Sally Store I managed to find some pants...SIZE 12's!!! That is very kewl. I also found another jacket. My orange jacket is quite warm and it is also getting quite big on me. ...AND I AM NOT LAMENTING THAT FACT ONE ITSY BITSY LITTLE BIT!!!!

So, I am going to hit craigslist and dream about furniture, glorious furniture for my new place. I look at a lot of things...VERY GOOD THING THAT I DON'T BUY LIKE I LOOK!!!! LMAO

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Very interesting indeed....


Food needs 'fundamental rethink'

By Mark Kinver
Science and environment reporter, BBC News

A sustainable global food system in the 21st Century needs to be built on a series of "new fundamentals", according to a leading food expert.

Tim Lang warned that the current system, designed in the 1940s, was showing "structural failures", such as "astronomic" environmental costs.

The new approach needed to address key fundamentals like biodiversity, energy, water and urbanisation, he added.

Professor Lang is a member of the UK government's newly formed Food Council.

"Essentially, what we are dealing with at the moment is a food system that was laid down in the 1940s," he told BBC News.

"It followed on from the dust bowl in the US, the collapse of food production in Europe and starvation in Asia.

"At the time, there was clear evidence showing that there was a mismatch between producers and the need of consumers."

Professor Lang, from City University, London, added that during the post-war period, food scientists and policymakers also thought increasing production would reduce the cost of food, while improving people's diets and public health.

"But by the 1970s, evidence was beginning to emerge that the public health outcomes were not quite as expected," he explained.

"Secondly, there were a whole new set of problems associated with the environment."

Thirty years on and the world was now facing an even more complex situation, he added.

"The level of growth in food production per capita is dropping off, even dropping, and we have got huge problems ahead with an explosion in human population."

Fussy eaters

Professor Lang lists a series of "new fundamentals", which he outlined during a speech he made as the president-elect of charity Garden Organic, which will shape future food production, including:

* Oil and energy: "We have an entirely oil-based food economy, and yet oil is running out. The impact of that on agriculture is one of the drivers of the volatility in the world food commodity markets."
* Water scarcity: "One of the key things that I have been pushing is to get the UK government to start auditing food by water," Professor Lang said, adding that 50% of the UK's vegetables are imported, many from water-stressed nations.
* Biodiversity: "Biodiversity must not just be protected, it must be replaced and enhanced; but that is going to require a very different way growing food and using the land."
* Urbanisation: "Probably the most important thing within the social sphere. More people now live in towns than in the countryside. In which case, where do they get their food?"

Professor Lang said that in order to feed a projected nine billion people by 2050, policymakers and scientists face a fundamental challenge: how can food systems work with the planet and biodiversity, rather than raiding and pillaging it?

The UK's Environment Secretary, Hilary Benn, recently set up a Council of Food Policy Advisers in order to address the growing concern of food security and rising prices.

Mr Benn, speaking at the council's launch, warned: "Global food production will need to double just to meet demand.

"We have the knowledge and the technology to do this, as things stand, but the perfect storm of climate change, environmental degradation and water and oil scarcity, threatens our ability to succeed."

Professor Lang, who is a member of the council, offered a suggestion: "We are going to have to get biodiversity into gardens and fields, and then eat it.

"We have to do this rather than saying that biodiversity is what is on the edge of the field or just outside my garden."

Michelin-starred chef and long-time food campaigner Raymond Blanc agrees with Professor Lang, adding that there is a need for people, especially in the UK, to reconnect with their food.

He is heading a campaign called Dig for Your Dinner, which he hopes will help people reconnect with their food and how, where and when it is grown.

"Food culture is a whole series of steps," he told BBC News.

"Whatever amount of space you have in your backyard, it is possible to create a fantastic little garden that will allow you to reconnect with the real value of gardening, which is knowing how to grow food.

"And once you know how to grow food, it would be very nice to be able to cook it. If you are growing food, then it only makes sense that you know how to cook it as well.

"And cooking food will introduce you to the basic knowledge of nutrition. So you can see how this can slowly reintroduce food back into our culture."

Waste not...

Mr Blanc warned that food prices were likely to continue to rise in the future, which was likely to prompt more people to start growing their own food.

He was also hopeful that the food sector would become less wasteful.

"We all know that waste is everywhere; it is immoral what is happening in the world of food.

"In Europe, 30% of the food grown did not appear on the shelves of the retailers because it was a funny shape or odd colour.

"At least the amendment to European rules means that we can now have some odd-shaped carrots on our shelves. This is fantastic news, but why was it not done before?"

He suggested that the problem was down to people choosing food based on sight alone, not smell and touch.

"The way that seeds are selected is about immunity to any known disease; they have also got to grow big and fast, and have a fantastic shelf life.

"Never mind taste, texture or nutrition, it is all about how it looks.

"The British consumer today has got to understand that when they make a choice, let's say an apple - either Chinese, French or English one - they are making a political choice, a socio-economic choice, as well as an environmental one.

"They are making a statement about what sort of society and farming they are supporting."

Growing appetite

The latest estimates from the UN Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) show that another 40 million people have been pushed into hunger in 2008 as a result of higher food prices.

This brings the overall number of undernourished people in the world to 963 million, compared to 923 million in 2007.

The FAO warned that the ongoing financial and economic crisis could tip even more people into hunger and poverty.

"World food prices have dropped since early 2008, but lower prices have not ended the food crisis in many poor countries," said FAO assistant director-general Hafez Ghanem at the launch of the agency's State of Food Insecurity in the World 2008 report.

"The structural problems of hunger, like the lack of access to land, credit and employment, combined with high food prices remain a dire reality," he added.

Professor Lang outlined the challenges facing the global food supply system: "The 21st Century is going to have to produce a new diet for people, more sustainably, and in a way that feeds more people more equitably using less land."

Story from BBC NEWS:

Published: 2008/12/27 19:24:38 GMT