WIRED...FREAKIN WIRED FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!!

I thought a nice warm bath, some chamomile tea and a bit of classical music would be enough to lull me to that place where I wish for sleep to come. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!!

I can feel myself buzzing sometimes it gets so intense. I just want to feel tired. It's after midnight. Is that too much to ask? I have to get up early to make the Woodstock meeting via bus & my pickup at Price Chopper. I've got a hunch that I am not going to wake up tired, regardless of how late I stay up. That is so NOT good!

For a while I could see my hands shaking I was zipping along so nicely. I could feel myself kick it up a notch tonight at the Danielson meeting. I did not kick it up a notch with Emeril either.

Now there's this voice in the back of my head telling me that I shouldn't have talked about being a bit manic, more than just slightly revved up. That thought makes no sense since intelligent people can figure it out for themselves. The coffee questions are probably inevitable at this point. Ten days on meds and I am having those moments where I feel like I am blasting off into orbit! I feel exposed and vulnerable...and that is uncomfortable but I have to deal with it. Honest, open minded and willing keep me sane and sober.

Anxiety, restlessness, shaking, unusual heart beat and sleeplessness are side effects...which is so good for mania why again? LOL Maybe I am feeling the side effects? I guess the thing to do is make constructive use of my time this evening/morning and call my "people" in the morning. Some times I feel like I am the guest of honor at a three ring circus but don't worry...I'm not giving my seat away.

I'm going to work on Father Jim's third question. That'll keep me very busy for a while. Hopefully my dreams will come calling sooner rather than later carrying me away to that land of white clouds and rest just over the horizon where I cannot see clearly.