Is it me?

Got an appointment with my therapist tomorrow first thing. I am so bummed today.

One of the medical assistants in New Haven said I should come to St. Raphael's ER yesterday, so I did. The rationale was that they had my records and I could see an intern from the surgical office. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

I saw some doctor and APRN in training who did not listen to me telling them to call the surgeon's office. They did not want to see the CT scan I had on me (from DKH) or compare it to past scans. They told me they were going to do a pelvic exam...silly me, I thought they were going to do a pelvic exam. What I got (two days before I see my own APRN for my annual gyn exam) was the opportunity for some student to test out her expertise under the direction of a doctor in a an ER with a nurse looking on. The exam was to see if my cervix was fryable (sp) that's all. I would not have agreed to that for a matter of two days. He told her to swab because there was a discharge but apparently that was only the flipping frying thing cause they don't 'do pelvic exams' in the ER. Well, that's what the idiot said after the fact.

Of course, when they put the speculum in and it hurt I told them to take it out but they proceeded. I remember why I hate doctors again. I really don't want to go for my exam tomorrow. I actually don't want to do go to another doctor's office until 911 takes my unconcious ass there against my conscience will.

I told one of them...either the doc or the trainee, that I thought morphine was overkill that Ultram was effective for the pain. Some time after 5 PM...I had been in pain since I woke up around 6-7 AM...the nurse arrived with a shot of morphine.

I had asked about the intern from my doctor's office in the ER when I got there. They waited till ALL the tests had come back to call the office...after 5 PM when MY records were not available and they talked to the doctor on call...who knew nothing about my case.

Repeat after me...WASTE OF F*CKING TIME! If I knew how to blow things up...they would be on my hit list. I so get why people 'lose' it. And, just for the record, I know it takes less for me to lose it than the average bear.

I don't know where to turn. Maybe, like my soon to be ex-PCP says, I will never feel that intense, burning pain in my groin ever again. It may never come back so what the hell am I so worried about? I won't be calling these idiots any more. If I can't take the pain I can always pick up so me ibuprofen and take care of the pain. Cause, it is that kind of pain and I'd rather risk blowing out my stomach than going to some medical asshole that I will have to bitch slap and leave in cuffs.

I think anyone who wants to be a doctor ought to have to be mistreated and discounted and pissed off by another medical professional before they can get their license. Actually, now that I think of it...ALL DOCTOR'S PROBABLY SPEND AN ETERNITY IN HELL GETTING JUST THAT TREATMENT. That'd be fitting justice if you ask me. And I know, you didn't ask me.

But hey, maybe it's just me. I know the difference between yesterday and today is that I AM hostile and belligerent. Doctor's make no sense for me at this point cause the first thing I want to do is tell the asshole to f*ck off and die...not discuss my symptoms.