How do I know when I am hypomanic/manic?

That question was posed in a newsletter type deal that I receive. It's a good question. Constant vigilance is a necessary component of life for me. It works for recovery. It works for bipolar. It just plain works.

Paying attention never hurts...though it can be uncomfortable at times. I don't always like what I see. And, I don't always see what I need to see. I listen to the perspectives of others today. Boy was that a long time a-coming! LOL

Anyway, here's my answer 'cause maybe it can help you...'cause maybe you can use it to help someone you know. Knowledge is powerful...

"I’m a shopaholic, so my shopping habits really offer no insight for me.

I notice certain things about how I talk with my hands and arms. I always do this, but when I start to get manic it will often feel like my arms are flailing as I speak. Frequently, I will hit a table or wall as I wave my arms when I am manic. I seem to be moving faster than my mind can interpret the physical world.

When I drive with mania upon me compliance to the speed limit is damn near impossible. Sixty-five miles an hour feels like I am going a mere thirty. For safety’s sake, I use the cruise control on the highway and whenever else I can.

I can’t NOT talk when I have a thought. It comes out…the good, the bad and the ugly. I am speech impulsive and my use of puns and jokes goes through the roof…and I have a good sense of humor all the time anyway.

I get seriously playful. Jumping in mud puddles, goofing off at serious times, lots of laughing and giggling, etc.

One of my signs is when I am on the computer a lot a lot I retype words…not typos, per se. I will repeat the same the same words in a sentence. I don’t do this when I am not in hypomania. (I made those mistakes intentionally to make my make my point...LOL)

I communicate more. Ann called me on this recently. I was writing more and more emails which were getting longer and longer. My first response was that I was under stress but I had noticed the flailing arm thing and I tendered the notion that I was a bit manic perhaps. She said that suspected as much.

I can talk myself out of seeing what I see quite easily. Mania feels sooo damn good. I want to believe I am doing fine. I need feedback from folks around me. I'd like to say that you shouldn't be afraid to mention this sort of thing to me, but sooner or later, it may not be so well received. I suggest 'a safe distance' when mentioning my little manic quirks. LMAO

I am getting better at noticing these things myself. Inflated self esteem doesn’t seem to catch me like other things do. It feels good to feel good and I get caught up in it without hesitation or reservation. I don’t notice that I feel too good until I am pretty far along.

People ask me the “coffee” questions. How much coffee have you had today? Have you considered decaf? I didn’t realize coffee made you so hyper?

Whether I get the outside input or whether I notice on my own (which I tend to discount) my first line of defense (right after I work on acceptance) is my med provider and my therapist. I talk to them about what I or others notice and follow instructions.

For me, dealing effectively with mania is about getting on board the saner train and letting someone else drive. I have to ask for help. Left to my own devices, I WILL crash and burn. I've done it time and time again. The DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) groups are helpful. More 12 step meetings work too. They give me a focus...a place to be...they ground me.

And, absolutely, when I am aware of my manic mode being in full swing, I check and double check on any big plans or ideas. I got no business going off on my own when I am in this mode.

It's not just the signs and symptoms of mania that I need to be aware of at any given time. I have to have a strategy for dealing with them in place and ready to go. A preemptive plan is how I cope best.